NICOLE, 11 ♥

the notebook ♥

2011-01-27T15:15:00.004+11:00

I watched the notebook again today. Oh how this movie brings back so many memories.

This movie gets to me every time. It's amazing how strong two people's love can be for each other.

My Dearest Allie,
I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever.

I love you. I'll be seeing you,
Noah

My horoscope, freakishly true .

2011-01-06T02:01:00.003+11:00

Name: Nicole
Date: Wednesday 5th 2011f January 2011 02:52:46 PM
Colorgenics Number: 1/3/5/2/4/6/0/7/

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You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.

You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image in the eyes of others. You are looking for acknowledgement from your peers and those who come into your sphere of influence. You want to be liked, not for what people think of you but for what you really are.

You are a dreamer and you seek perfection in any relationship that you may establish. Some of your ideas and standards are over the top so it may be a good idea to review your perception of life and accept people for what they are - not for what you would like them to be.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

missing you more than words could say

2011-01-02T14:11:00.004+11:00

I miss having you around. I miss your hugs, your kisses. I miss riding in the passenger seat with you. I miss our stupid fights. I miss your dickhead-ness. I miss your monotone voice. I miss talking to you. I miss our random adventures to maccas or kfc. I miss every single thing. I miss you, you and only you.

On new years eve countdown after all the cheering, laughing, saying happy new years to everyone I froze for that very one moment and I thought of you. It felt like the world just I stoppped for a second and I just thought of you because exactly a year ago I was with you celebrating new years together. The following night I was also tipsy just laying on the driveway starring up at the sky, thinking about 2010, and all the memories and things I went through. Tears rolled down my eyes, I bawled my eyes out because I realised every happy good bad memory was with you. I spent a year with you, 2010 was OUR year.

Sometimes I lay here in bed every night and wonder what your doing. I wonder if you ever think of me. If you miss me. If you still wish I was in your life. If you still think of me ...

If you still feel the same way I do ...

I wish you were here, atleast still in my life ...

13 months, what could, should and would have been .

2010-12-11T09:07:00.002+11:00

Its been 3 weeks or so since the breakup and it feels as if i'm just digging myself in a hole deeper and deeper each and every single day, to the point where i just cant get out, so i'll keep digging and digging for the sake of just trying to get somewhere. I honestly don't know what I want with David no more. Knowing that we can't be together, at the same time, I don't know why I keep trying to keep being his friend, to just save a friendship that I know will probably never last. It's hard to see him already let go of a one year relationship that could have at least got somewhere, yet at the same time, let me go completely overall with no intentions of even keeping me in his life still even as a friend, which is what I've been trying to do.

I never wanted for things to be this way, obviously he didn't either, it's not like it was something planned, it just happened; which is why it makes it even more worse for me sometimes, cause the pain is so unbearable because i constantly blame myself, sometimes i look back and wish i could have did this that differently and such to make me and him work out.

Each day, I honestly do get stronger. My reliance on having him around and all really does decrease and I do grow into a better and more independent person. And with that, I do feel proud of myself, i honestly do. I look at the person this distance has changed me into and it makes me not only grow independence but also has helped me to appreciate him more. Having him by my side for 365 days all the time, on the phone every night, seeing him everyday compared to now, which is we rarely talk, rarely see each other, has helped me to appreciate the time we spent together and has actually given me a time and space to think carefully about what I really want out of this and for certain right now, its friendship with him and whatever happens from there happens.

I feel as if, I just CANT not be friends with him, purely because we were friends prior to the relationship. Like not friends that were there for the intentions of hooking up, but true genuine best friends and also because his become such a big part of my life now, having been together for a year.

It's hard knowing his probably talking to other girls already and his probably moving on and completely over me. I admit, there are guys who try and talk to me, I try and get to know them, see how things could go, but in the end I just back away. As much as a jerk and asshole David is for treating me the way he has, at the same time, nobody compares to him and the happy moments I could picture my life with. Behind all the bad moments together, of course there are good moments, but that's only because nobody knows about them and they only hear the bad. But yeah ...

There a days when i feel so down because I miss him so much. Days when I literally just lay in bed and cry to myself, because I still can't believe everything that has happened between him and I. It's honestly crazy and whack when I look back on it. I can say, his the best I ever had, but at the same time, his also the worst.

If I could look back and change a single thing about this relationship, I partly would, but then I wouldn't. I feel as if, even though we've been through so much shit, by the end of the day, friends or no friends, hating each other, ignoring texts and calls etc etc somehow we always find our ways back together, because it's true, even though were not together, I honestly do believe him and I are inseparable, even on the worst days where we hate each others guts.

Your love made me blind .

2010-12-03T03:31:00.000+11:00

I gave all of my trust, didn't think being faithful was asking to much .

second thoughts ...

2010-12-01T01:04:00.003+11:00

After reading over my blogs, i realised that all of them have been happy blogs, ending with happy smiles and a fulfilment of love that i have promised to show David. I remember always looking forward to writing blogs to David, so that i could watch him on webcam reading it and eventually actually see tears roll down his eyes from reading my blogs that i dedicate to him, because of the heart touched feeling I give to him through each and every single world.

But now things are different, it's not him shedding the tears, it's me. Even just writing the first paragraph made me tear up already. It's just the past months have been so hard for me, I don't know why they turned out to be like this. I always thought that things were going good, that I was fulfilling my duties right, and that was to make David happy, to put that smile on his face. But now, it's just gone too out of hand, I dont know if its me or if its him wanting so much of me.

I've been with him for over a year now and just the past few months haven't been as great as i would have wanted them to be. Each time there was a problem, I knew there was always a way for me to fix them, to make it better, so that i could make david smile so that I can show him what he really deserves in a relationship, which is a loving girlfriend who will listen to him and always make him happy. I know I'm not perfect, yet nobody is and because of that latley i've been trying extra hard to show more love towards him, I cooked for him one year, i made a scrap book for him for one year, I buy him clothes, I baught him the gym bag, and besides all those materialistic things I've promised to change myself inorder to make him happy, yet all those things I try and do for him, they seem to never matter.

It's like my efforts of wanting to make him happy aren't appreciated at all. Is it because I'm not trying hard enough ? Is it?

I know the goals I want to achieve with david, they are set goals within my mind that I want to be able to succeed in. David's happiness is my number one priortiy and under those are so many different arrows that lead to so many different subjects of reasons on how to make this relationship work and how to make each one pull that georgous smile on his face.

I know i dissapoint him sometimes, because his not always in a good mood and I blame myself. I blame myself for not trying hard enough to achieve me goals i promised I would set. I realised that I know I'm not the best girlfriend any guy could ask for, nor is David the best boyfriend, for my own personal reasons, but I belive that behind this whiney, annoying, clingy, sulky girl, I'm more than just a girl whos there in his life. I know I love him, because I know my willingness to change for the better. I know that on normal days, he really does love me, but then theres just that one off odd day where things don't turn out as great and because of that, I blame myself.

I pray to god that things will work out between him and I. David isn't just another guy who walked into my life, is suppose to leave and teach me a lesson. I know that what we had was real, I know that what we had was true and I will make sure I keep him by my side for aslong as possible.

I know I can do it, because my heart says so. I know I can do it, because one year tells me so. I know I can do it, because its what I'm destined to do and thats to love david, care for him and always make him happy. His my number one boy ♥

day one - coping with the pain

2010-12-01T00:03:00.006+11:00

So its officially, 5 minutes past 12, on the 1st day of the month December. It's been 4 days since the breakup and only today have i decided to finally let go, move on, cut all ties and hope for the best. As i write this, tears are building up, because it hurts me to have to let go like this; no goodbye, no explanation, just disappear like that from his life. I never wanted things to end like this, nor did i even want to end it the relationship itself. I finally realised today that I was the only one fighting for it to work, I was the only one wanting to put in that extra effort to make every last string get pulled.

It hurts so much knowing he wont be around no more, so much all I can do is cry helplessly without him by my side. I mean, surely, of course he can still be there, but as simple as it seems, it's so hard having him there knowing I love him still so much, that's why I have to do what I'm doing. As I type each word, I can feel each tear roll down my eyes falling down onto my lap as i sit here clenched on my bed infront of the laptop. It's all so unbearable, just sitting here alone in the middle of the night knowing that one years worth of good and bad memories, love, pain, laughter, tears and joy were thrown out the window, just like that.

Of course I still believe that I can make things work out, if I was given the chance too. Of course theres all hope in my heart that things could, would and should have worked out between him and I, if it wasn't for that one mistake on that saturday afternoon. There will always be hope in my heart for a better day and a brighter future with him in it.

I miss him so much words cannot explain. I'm trying my best to be strong and I'm trying my best to keep a smile on my face, but I know deep down it'll always kill me to know that someday, I won't be that girl in his arms no more, I won't be that girl he sends text msgs too, I won't be that girl he tells her he loves, I won't be that girl in his passenger seat, just overall, I won't be her ...

I wish I was given one day to change things around, one day to prove to him and to have him forgive me for all my wrongs and just have one last beautiful moment with him. Have him in my arms, next to him in the passenger seat, hugging him in bed, holding my hands where our finger tips meet, kiss him ... Just one day that I will always hope for. I just want to prove to him how much of a better person overall and how much of a better gf i have changed myself to be.

But in the meantime, when I'm gone, obviously it's not going to take him 1 day to realise im gone, but it'll have to take a few weeks and months for my disappearance to actually work. But with this I hope it will give him a chance to actually realise what life is like without me and for him to actually have time and space to think, for him to actually miss me and appreciate my presence.

Nicole & David - 111109 ♥

(us cooking for our one year anniversary :))

unexpected .

2010-11-28T12:50:00.003+11:00

I never thought that things would have turned out this way. I never thought that the tears would have to fall.

Waking up this morning felt so lonely. Waking up knowing he wasn't by my side anymore felt like there was a hole in my heart, it felt like I was missing an arm, It felt like a piece of me was gone. I've honestly never felt this alone ever, because I know that now that my chances of popping up at pre uni, or popping up at random places where i know he will be for sure can't happen anymore, cause there's just nowhere or anyway I can do that anymore.

I don't know if we'll ever get back together, I don't know if I'll even be able to see him again, or hear his voice. All i know is this is the greatest pain i've ever felt and all i can do is sit back, and wait for him ...

I love you, 11th November 2009♥

♥ ♥ ♥ one year anniversary (: ♥ ♥ ♥

2010-11-11T21:53:00.002+11:00

11 months anniversary ♥

2010-10-13T00:15:00.007+11:00

Dear boyfriend,

It's been a while since I last wrote a blog for you to read so here it is now! I honestly don't know where to start with an over view on all the things we've been through in the past month, but what i can tell you now is that at this very moment what i'm feeling is an overwhelming feeling of happiness and a great power of love :) I've been so happy with where our relationship has been going and i hope to keep it that way! I told you my plans and I've told you what I know and what I have to do to keep this relationship together and with it I promise to always keep that smile on your face :)

I can't say that I'm the bestest girlfriend in the world but I can say with pride that I know I've been the best for you and there's so much more of myself to offer :)

One month down, then it's one year baby :)
I love you, more than words could ever explain.

Love, your girlfriend ♥

One day you’ll meet a guy who will make you cry. He’ll make you over-analyze every bit of your relationship. He will be the reason for the nights you spend laying awake thinking about the possibilities. He will tell you things that you don’t want to hear. Your phone won’t always ring when it’s supposed to. Sometimes he won’t say the cute things you wish he would. He won’t be perfect. He doesn’t have to be perfect. You aren’t either. Just know that despite all the hardships the two of you will go through, he will be completely worth it. There’s a reason why you put up with it all. You’ll love him like you’ve never loved anyone before. And for once, things will be okay.

10 MONTHS AND STILL GOING ♥

2010-09-12T01:19:00.000+10:00

i came, i saw, i conquered .

2010-09-02T22:22:00.004+10:00

I can say I'm truly happy to this day. It's been a long and very hard journey, but I made it and I'm glad that I stuck around though all he hardships in order to be where I'am now. There's no doubt in my mind, that I'd ever regret putting myself through all the pain and suffering in the past month, because all good things take time and that's exactly what happened. Not knowing what the future brings, not knowing whether good or bad would come my way, I held on tight and never let go.

I'm glad your still in my life and I'm willing to fight each and everyday to keep it that way.

Love held me together and it never let me go :)

Now I'm walking out the front door, you got exactly what you asked for .

2010-08-19T19:35:00.003+10:00

There will be a time, when letting go doesn't hurt nearly as badly as staying.
When you feel like you've been hurt enough.
The mornings are still grey, but the days are bright.
And although alone, the nights are bearable again.
There will be a time when loves fades, and hope steps in.
There will be a time to love again (:

eleven ♥

2010-08-18T22:54:00.002+10:00

Learning to let go is indeed the most difficult part in ending a relationship, especially if you were the one who was let go of. You tend to miss their presence. Your heart starts to clench every time you hear the song or see that picture that reminds you of them. Those late nights crying in bed and waking up to a wet pillow and swollen eyes. You question, why this and that happened, why did we split up, or why did I have to fall in love with you. You feel as if you can’t go on without this significant other in your life.

But that is okay. This is all part of the process of letting go. Soon those pictures will stop making you cry and start making you smile because you remember that special day with them. Soon those late nights filled with crying and tears will be replaced with a good night’s sleep. The questions you had about, why this and that happened, why did we split up, and why did I have to fall in love with you; will all be answered with a “It just happened.” You’ll learn to live without them, slowly but surely you will. Only problem is something that everyone needs to realize.

You need to realize you will never truly get over them. As in the picture, though their hands may no longer be connected, their finger tips connect at a certain point. This symbolizes that no one truly gets over their past relationships, regardless whether they were bad or good. You will always bare a memory of them in your heart and in your brain. This is what people need to realize when they are getting over someone. This is why it is so hard to let go. Its so hard because no one can accept the fact that you can’t completely forget them. They will always be there. So stop trying to forget them completely, they will always be there. No matter what.

knock on wood

2010-08-15T01:19:00.017+10:00

11th November 2009, Inseparable

9 months

2010-08-11T18:32:00.006+10:00

"The first time you fall in love, it changes you forever, and no matter how hard you try, that feeling just never goes away" - The Notebook

2010-08-09T00:15:00.005+10:00

8 Days

2010-07-24T16:58:00.001+10:00

Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT? - The Notebook, Noah .

never make someone a priority, if they consider you an option

2010-07-17T22:08:00.002+10:00

HAPPY 8 MONTHS BABYYY !

2010-07-11T14:15:00.002+10:00

Still going stronger than ever, love you :)

can't give up now .

2010-06-26T20:21:00.001+10:00

So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like?

david nguyen ♥

2010-06-25T01:12:00.007+10:00

No, he doesn't always make me happy. There are times when I really just want to punch him in the face, get up and walk away because it seems so much easier. But that's not what true love is about. It's about learning to forgive him for his mistakes, not holding grudges and bringing up the past. It's about learning to love and admire him even more for all the small imperfections, because not one person on this earth is perfect. It's about discovering something new about each other every day, and falling in love all over again every time you look into each others eyes. It's about every hug, kiss and I love you's and understanding and working through problems, not just giving up when something goes wrong.

True love wasn't meant to be easy, nobody ever said it was.
But one thing I can assure, that for every sleepless night and single tear, something good will happen.

Remember, true love is definitely worth it.

happy 7 months :)

2010-06-14T13:33:00.008+10:00

Yet another month has gone by and we're still going by stronger than ever :) I can't wait to spend more and more months with you, growing in love, breaking down walls, jumping over obstacles and learning each step of the way :) Happy 7 months hunny ♥

Since the first day we met, we've grown so mature in a way, but at the same time we're still the same people. I've grown to love your personality and all the stupid things you do and say. No matter what, even at times when i'm mad at you, you always manage to make me laugh, by cracking a joke, teasing something about my face or tickling me crazy and i thank and love you for that :)

The night we went out for 7 months, I must say, was the best night of my life :) Each time just gets better and better with you, because each time, you literally blow me away. That moment in the Ferris wheel and in the car later on at night, to be honest, I never thought that day would come. I never thought I would ever hear those words come out of your mouth and not to mention, for you to actually mean it. It brought me to tears listening to you say those words to me you know that babe? Well obviously cause you saw me cry LOL

It seems as if you take away the happiness that you give, but then at some stage you eventually give it back to me. Except when you do, the happiness is 10 times more :) You have made me extremely and truly happy and i can't wait to endure the next lifetime and afterlife with you, even if it means punching more pre uni doors and cooking migoreng for you every morning :) I do forgive you for everything you have put me through and Iam thankful and glad with no regrets that I still stuck around for it all :)

Forever and always babe ! and you were right when you said to me in the car "I realised in the ferris wheel that the skys the limit" bfsjkanhdhjksahndjksadjsahndksjda love you baby, oh so much :) and yes the sky is the limit :) dw babe, next stop, skywalk ! It'll take us even higher than the Ferris wheel :) and you know what? After skywalk, 5 years from now, we'll be in a even higher distance! we'll be in a plane travelling to japan and around the world with little mini nicoles and david AND NOT TO MENTION POMPOM ♥ :) hehe

You mean the world to me hunny, remember that.

I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
FOREVER :)

HAPPY SE7EN MONTHS ONCE AGAIN ! MWA MWA MWA XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

11-11-09 ♥

2010-06-03T23:12:00.004+10:00

I'm not the best person to fall in love with. I get jealous easily, I have a lot of insecurities, I overanalyze, I push you to the edge, I get hurt when I’m not supposed to, I always put up unecessary fights ... But regardless of that, you have to know you still have reasons to hold on. You must know that you are cherished, treasured, and always thought of every minute of everyday. That you are the most important person to someone who may not be that special, but you thought otherwise. I may not be the best, but I will make up for it by loving you more than anyone can and ever will.

Thank you for staying.

You don't just stop loving someone. It's either you did or you always will .

2010-05-25T18:24:00.005+10:00

So me and david spend the day together and it was by far the happiest day of my life, since it's my 18th tommrow and i won't be able to see him :'( But that's okay, cause today we made up for lost of time and cause i'll be seeing him on thursday and saturday anyways for my birthday and 6 months! :)

Since my last blog, things have changed, we've grown better and stronger as yesterday and today proved that very well :) I'm very happy with where we are at and how we're getting back on track with everything!

I know things have changed because he tells me he loves me more and we actually do the things we used to now. He hugs me tighter and kisses me harder and when we're there laying in bed looking at eachother in silence, he just randomly tells me how much he loves me and assures me we're gonna be together forever and that his going to marry me and that i'm his wife :$ When this particular song came up yesterday, we just both sat there in silence listening to it and when it was nearly ending, i looked over at him and i could see his eyes tearing up :') ♥

He told me i was not only his girlfriend, lover, soulmate, bestfriend, future wife, but he said i was also his teacher. He said i'm a teacher to him, because throughout the course of 6 months, i've taught him so many things, things that are relevant to life; how to catch a train and bus, how to read bus and train timetables, how to use dictionary on the phone for texting and much more :) I could say the same for him. He has taught me alot aswell! SO SO SO much about cars, how to cook mi hanh huong with eggs but above all, how to get through life? his taught me independancy, taught me how to repsect myself, how to consume and save money, taught me how to respect my family, how to control my anger, taught me how to control all hunger cravings (LOL) and how to consume my time wisely :) There's so much more, i just can't think of anything right now.

Well, his such a sweetheart. He makes me do backflips. I adore everything about him. His so big and muscular and tall, he looks so tough and serious all the time, but deep down his the cutest guy you'll ever meet. He has the nicest and most caring, understanding and forgiving heart along with the cutest face. He has the most softest skin, so smooth and flawless, the most adorable eyes and nose and last but not least the most beautiful smile to die for.

I don't know where I'd be without him.

His the definition of love and together we're the definition of inseparable ♥

seek and you shall find

2010-05-22T11:28:00.014+10:00

Babe as we both know, the past week has been really hard for us. Situations are getting harder and harder, yet the rate and time of managing these obstacles seem to be overcome much quicker. I can see us progressively making bigger changes and to be honest, throughout the course of the past 6 months, i have never been as happy as i'am now. Even though i get to see you less now and going out and being able to spend time with each other properly is very scarce, i know that going through all this, what we are going through now, the hardship, the tears, the arguments, i know that it will all be worth it in the end, because after every storm, theres always a beautiful, sun shiny day with a pretty rainbow :)

"The problems start when we refuse to let change happen and cling to old habits. But if we hold on to the past to tight, the future may never come".

I really do agree with this quote and it's pretty much a two sentence summary of everything we talked about last night. I could say that i relate more to the first sentence and you relate more to the last one. On my behalf, i guess i do have trouble accepting change because i always reminisce about the old us, the little things we used to always do and never do anymore. Things that made us different from other couples, things that made me feel special and secure. And as for you, something I've been telling you for quiet a long time. The past is the past baby, I know there are things that are hard to get over, things about me and things i have done, but believe me baby, if you can't forget it, then it will always be there at the back of your mind and we will never be able to move forward because it's a barrier that is stopping us. You always told me that a relationship is about breaking down walls and jumping over obstacles together and i believe that this is something we can both achieve together babe.

To be honest, there's not much i can do to make you forget about the past, because it's you and you have to achieve this at your own rate, but i know one thing i can do to help is being there for you and to wait for you. I'm not expecting anything to happen straight away baby, just know that even though it really does kill me inside, i'm being very patient with this, because good things take time :)

Overall, i could say that we both affect each other in every way. It's like a domino affect. Personally, in my opinion, i could say that your affect on me is the fact that you don't do the things you used to anymore, therefore it affects me and makes me think that you don't care about me as much no more and you just don't bother making me feel special no more, therefore i don't bother either. And your reason would probably be because of the way i treated you at the start, you put so much effort into me back then, that now that i reflect that image of a perfect girlfriend through your eyes, you believe that you don't have to face that bitch no more. That bitch that would get angry over silly things and breakup with you instantly. You don't have to be afraid that i would leave no more and you don't have to do the things you used to no more, because i ain't that bitch no more, i'm a loving caring girlfriend now, therefore there is no more fear of loosing me, because i would never consider leaving you ever.

I never want to see us die out, I always want us to both put in that extra effort, I want us to be 110% with each other forever and always, I don't want us to die out like other couples, where they get used to the distance, because with that kind of love, they believe that it's the distance and independence thats growing but the love and missing each other thats dying out.

Thats why i get sad over the things i do, i miss the old days when we'd always leave cheesy comments on each others fb's, when our nicknames on msn reflected on our relationship, when we'd go out and have fun and discover new places each week rather than now when we just stay in bed and literally sleep half the day and overall just the little things we used to do that would create such a big impact on us. That would bring the biggest smile to our faces and the slightest tear to our eyes. THE THINGS THAT MADE US, US AND THE THINGS THAT MADE OTHER PEOPLE LOOK AT US AND KNOW STRAIGHT UP THAT WE ARE TRULY, DEEPLY, MADLY IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER AND THAT WE'RE INSEPARABLE. There are so much more things i could say, but the list is endless baby.

Each time i would cry about this, you would think that its childish and tell me off. Well i believe not. Love is not measured through how old you are. You are never to young or too old to understand what the real meaning of true love is. Some people find it earlier, some people start later. And quiet frankly, we are still very young. We haven't even reached the half way point of our lives yet. And because of this, i'am very thankful that i found you and i have been given the chance to know and feel what true love is at such a young age. This is the age where there are transitions which affect our future. Were things such as working and driving and money start to matter. And that is why i'am thankful, because we're going through this stage together, the roots of our future together, building and building up so that our dreams come true. The day i see me walk down that aisle and the day you see you put that ring on my finger. So think about what i just said and tell me if you still believe its childish?

I don't want to have to feel as if i'm the only one in this relationship who's trying to fight for something that's not there anymore. So let's stop with the pointless arguing and fighting. Let's be happy. Lets continue loving each other more and more each and every day. Let's do the things we used to do. Let's pick each other up when one is down, no matter who's wrong or right. Let's learn to take turns listening to each other and what each person has to say, rather than talking over the top of each other. Let's be open with our opinions. Let's learn to take away all the fears of ever loosing each other, because in the end when you think about it, it's so pointless, cause we're stuck with each other forever right? :)

It takes two people, not one. So what do you say baby? We can do this right? :)

I LOVE YOU :)

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails ... and now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love"

Bible Verse, 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 8, 13

earthquakes can't shake us, cyclones can't break us, hurricanes can't take away our love - happy 6 months babe ♥

2010-05-20T18:33:00.004+10:00

I never got the chance to write a 6 months blog for you hun, so here it is :) Hellooo babe, HAPPY 6 MONTHS FOR 9 DAYS AGO ♥♥ I LOVE LOVE LOVEEE YOUU MWAHH ! I must say, it's been a very long and adventurous hello of a 6 months :) I can't believe a dream, something we'd always been waiting for has happened and we're still going as strong as ever ! :)

I must admit, the past week has been preety hard for us and nothing that we faced in the pass moths together could compare to what we have been through in this last week. Though i have confidence to say that we're getting better and better and we are getting back on track, breaking down all the highers walls and jumping over harder obstacles. It's been 6 months baby, it's felt like such a long time, yet seems so short. It feels like it was only yesterday that i was meeting up with you for the first time, it feels like only yesterday, you were my bestfrined listening to my boy problems everynight, it feels like only yesterday, you were driving me to school each morning, it feels like only yesterday, that you first kissed me and told me you loved me, it feels like only yesterday, only yesterday, that we were sitting at darling harbour and asked me to be your girlfriend.

I love you so much babe, each word i type makes me teary, makes me long for your hug and kiss, makes me long to see your cute face and smile, even though i see you in a few hours.

Baby, thankyou for sticking by me through sunshine stormy rainy days. We made it baby, we did it :) Thankyou for being the one to go through my first ever 6 months with me, thankyou for everything. Remember what we promised last night okay baby ! You keep your promises and i'll keep mine.

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, YOUR MY BESTFRIEND, LOVER, SOULMATE, BOYFRIEND AND FUTURE HUSBAND :)

Nicole & David, Inseperable ♥
11th Semptember 2009 .

/

2010-05-11T20:09:00.000+10:00

Don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You're deeply missable. However, he's still the same person who just broke your heart. Remember the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you .

Each day is a gift, not a given right .

2010-05-03T22:30:00.003+10:00

Unlike the start of everyday week, monday to friday, excluding wednesdays, being able to see my baby asoon as i woke up, today was completly different than any other day. Today i woke up at 7:20 and by 7:30 i was out of bed, instead of being woken up by david's footsteps walking into my room at the usual 8:00am. I woke up early today to cook him some breakfast, so that by the time he gets to my house, he'll have something to eat :) For his lunch box, I made him 3 packets of migoreng, packed him 3 chocate bars, yogurt and a juice box and left a little note inside telling him how much i love him and for breakfast I just made him a bacon and egg sandwhich :)

Seeing his face light up as i handed him his lunch box and his breakfast made me happy, because the look on his face was so surprised and just shocked that I was bothered to do it for him even though in my mind it was something so little. I know I can't afford to buy him this or that, but when I can, I do and even though something so little like this, just putting in that extra effort, waking up just 30 minutes early, it made me happy, knowing he was happy. And because of that, it motivates me to want to try harder and harder and to just keep on building up to make him happy through the little joys in life that i bring to him.

Til this day, I still am very happy with him and still loving him more and more each and everyday. We're been growing so much stronger ever since and i'm proud to say that theres nothing that could ever bring us down. He brings alot of happiness into my life and I'm hoping he will be there for me through whatever, whenever forever.

Sometimes just looking at him on webcam makes me really emotional and i start to tear up, just knowing how much I love him and hope i'll never loose him.

Anyway, I love you baby oh so very much :) Nothing can ever come between us. Just keep your promises and i'll promise keep mine, yes ? Done deal <3

8 Days to go :)

baby you my heaven

2010-04-23T15:59:00.004+10:00

ITS NEARLY 6 MONTHS dnsklncdksncjkNJKNjks :D :D :D I honestly can't wait ! It feels like such a accomplishment because it's the longest i've been with anyone, so yes, i'm totes excited ! David and I were talking about 6 months and we concluded by saying that we think 6 months is a vital month to be acknowledged because it's the mark where couples say, yep we accomplished 6 months, and if we can do it once, we can do it again, and then 1 year passes and then after a year, two years, three years ... then a decade and soo on til forever and ever hehehe ♥

We said how its also the month were people see a couples relationship as serious. Whereas the 1-2-3-4 and 5ish months can be catergorised as the breakable periods ! Not that me and david ever were but yeah :D

I have a lot of things installed for 6 months present atm for you hun ! I'm not really sure though, but hopefully things will go well :) We've been going so well lately and i've been so happy with you hun ! keep up the good work and im sure to keep up with mine !

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOUUUUU FOREVER AND EVER CAUSE WE'RE INSEPERABLE
111109(: ♥♥♥

im so sorry, but i love you ...

2010-04-19T22:32:00.002+10:00

I'd like to start off to say, i love david forever and ever and everrr :3

As our relationship progresses each day, i find that there are more and more reasons to change for him and to change for the better and to never turn back to the old me. Latley i've been feeling this urge and need to try 10 times harder than i already am to show david so much more extra love and care and just this great power of motivation and want to be there for him in order to be the best girlfriend possible; and not to mention, especially during this time and moment where he needs someone most to be there for him, to listen to his problems, a shoulder to lean on, during the hardship his being facing with his family and all atm. It makes me feel appreciated and acknowledged knowing he puts his time and trust in telling me how his feeling and everything thats been happening.

That being one of the motivations that has made me want to push myself harder. Laying there in my bed hugging him in my arms this morning as i felt each tear drip onto my arm, listening to his trembling words as he was having difficulties telling me the story just broke my heart. And that very moment, i thought to myself, nobody this beautiful should ever have to go through this and though i understand that its totally out of my control and it's something i can't change or make better, i feel asif the only thing i can do, is to be there for him and show him what he should have and will deserve since day 1.

I believe that David deserves everthing in the world and though i can't afford that and provide him with that happiness, it really does bring me down and makes me so sad. Though he always reassures me that I don't need money to show him happiness and that all he wants from me is to be his girlfriend, to never ever leave him and to just be there for him and love him forever because thats all he ever wanted.

Another thing that sparked me to try harder was a conversation i had today with my guy friends. We we're talking about relationships and one of the guys asked me, what happened to my knuckles, because it was all bruised up. And i replied, i got angry at my boyfriend and punched the wall. And he then continued on saying if david makes me angry, why dont i just find another guy that will make me happy? And that moment, it just hit me so hard. Because i was like NO haha and his like but why? you said he makes you angry why dont you just dump him? And at that instant, the past 5 months being with david had flashed before my eyes and i realised something that i really wished i realised ages ago. I realised that yes, david does make me angry but its the fact he never does anything wrong, and its just the fact that i have anger issues and it's my own cause of the bruises and cuts on my knuckles. He has done nothing to cause anyu of this pain and anger, and it was all me the whole time. I was the one to blame.

That topic then continued onto my other guy friend saying, man i've been with my girlfriend for 2 years and we didn't have a fight til after a year and my other friend saying yeah bro ive been with my gf for 4 months, shes an angel to me, we never argue; shes not the best looking girl, but her personality and sweetness is what makes me love her so much. And once again, that hit me too. Sitting there listening to how much pride my friends had in their girlfriends made me compare myself to them and i just thought wtf am i doing. I honestly did, i thought what the fuck have i been doing for the pasty 5 months. Im with the perfect guy and this is how i treat him, because damn right he does not deserve any bit of this at all.

And since then, I've been trying my best to give it all and give my best shot. It would really kill me to ever loose him and i'm for sure in full understanding of how much i love him and what i need to do inorder to keep in, because his a keeper <3

I love you david. You will never understand how much i do. Each day is a brand new day and each day just feels like im falling in love over and over again, except the next time, i've fallen deeper for you. Remember what you promised and I'll remember mine, because the skies the limit :)

im walking away, from the troubles in my life ...

2010-04-17T12:50:00.003+10:00

Dear David,

So i woke up this morning to my sister calling me asking if i wanted to go shopping but i turned her down. I was so tired and my eyes were so puffy from crying all night and we just had another fight? And your not understanding where I'm coming from, so im gonna blog my feelings so you can read it and through this you can't butt in and argue back with me and you can just read and try and make an attempt to understand me and where im coming from.

I honestly thought I could have made it through this obstacle, but obviously atm i'm having such difficulties doing so because there's no-one or nothing there to motivate me to want to change and break down this wall. Last night was by far the worst fight we've ever had and it's totally changed my views or ever wanting to be with you or ever even wanting to have a relationship with anyone, even though deep down i know this feeling is probably just one of those the moment feeling and it'll all pass and things will be fine again soon.

Recently each time we fight I notice I face a new you each time. A more smartass, dickhead, asshole, non-caring, swearing boyfriend. And each time we fight, your attitudes when we fight get more serious to the extent i convince myself you don't love me no more.

I don't really know how to explain this through writing but i'll try my best to explain. I realised that to me, each time when we fight i make it like asif it's the end of the world and it's by far the "worst fights" we've ever had. And I realised because of that, as im progressing through this "changing" stage I will not be perfect. I will be alright for a few days or so and eventually I will break and fall and through that, there will be fights and fights will be really big each time after I pick myself up from the last fight because after each fight, I will have a better understanding and I will try harder, hence a longer period of days being perfect, hence more anger from each day that hasn't been let out, hence a great amount of anger build up inside, HENCE the fact why each time we fight, one after another, they are so big and get worser and worser each time (and this is the part where you correct me and tell me worser isnt a word lol)

And not only the fact that it gets worser because of me, but you being a hectic jerk to me each time i make a mistake doesn't really help either. Obviously your not perfect, but your only not perfect when im not perfect. So therefore do you realise that maybe just calming me down first works. Cause if im mad, then your mad and then i get even more mad cause your mad then you get angry at me for even being more mad and then the process just goes round and round and round and we dont stop arguing til like i get sleepy and im just not bothered to fight anymore. But then again, like me, I understand that your changing too. And i'm trying to understand that, but sometimes someones just gotta give in and help us, and for the past weeks I've been putting my trust in you to help me with that, cause i belived that only you could do that, but you havn't. That's why it breaks my heart so much each time you go agaisnt me and scream at me telling me to "shut the fuck up" and tell me off, cause its just not you, this is not what i came into a relationship for.

I don't know how things will turn out for us. No doubt, I love you. Your my everything, your everything ive ever asked for and looked for in a boyfriend. And im telling you this in advance ... sometimes my insecurities will take the better of me and i know that if i continue on with my "changing" to be a better girlfriend, at one stage or another, i will stuff up again because nobodies perfect and such high expectations should not be placed upon any person. You tell me that your proud of me for changing and that you didn't tell me to change and that i changed for myself and for the better voluntarily. If you say that, then why not act like you acknowlegde it during hard times. You should be gratful for having to face a fight once a week compared to before when i wasn't changing to fights everyday.

But thats not the point. The point is i need you to understand where im comming from and that it's honestly not easy to go through what i have to go through each day with all my anger problems. It's not like i enjoy punching walls and living a life where i think money grows on tree's breaking everything that gets in my way.

Honestly, I don't think you ever will understand. But when you do, please let me know. I love you, but sometimes I'd rather be alone than have to go through all this again. I'm not weak because im giving up but its because I know i will stuff up again and because of that I know that when I do, I have to face that side of you again, which I never want to ever.

That's all i have to say.

Love, Nicole.

happy 5 months baby ♥

2010-04-11T19:27:00.004+10:00

So it's our 5 months today hehe :$ We both actually didn't know it was 5 months til when we were laying in bed getting ready to sleep on the phone to eachother and i randomly checked my phone calender and it was like HUH? 11? ISKAJNSKAJNSKnakjdnjsnd WTFFF BABE I THINK ITS OUR 5 MONTHS? haha ♥

I'm still really overwhelmed from the fact thats it's 5 months, mainly cause we both forgot about it and how fast it had crept up onto us hehe The past 5 months has just been such a roller coaster ride and time has really flown by so fast! We have come from such a far way to get to the point we are at now and there's no doubt in my mind that I could ever stop loving him and that we aren't gonna spend the rest of our lives together. When I'm with him, just a glimpse of his beautiful smile lights up my soul and just holding him in my arms, I see my future flash before my eyes. I see my life with him, I see a loving father to my kids, but most of all i see my husband, the love of my life.

He is by far the most loving, forgiving and understanding boyfriend. We may fuss, we may fight, but by the end of the night we both get stronger and stronger because thats what love is. Love is breaking down walls together and never letting anything and anyone get in between us. Love is being able to give in no matter if your wrong or right. Love is me and David and I really am thankful to have found him at such a young age ...

The past month has been a big highlight to our relationship. He met my parents and my two little brothers and recently met my sister and brother in law. As the weeks go by, seeing David each week when he comes over to pick me up or to see me, having a little conversation here and there with my parents, David has grown very fond towards my family. So close that my mum can't stop talking about him and that she mentions me and him getting married and kids and asking if David wants to come to our future planned family holidays (Queensland at the end of this year and Vietnam next year). And all this is a big thumbs up to me :) Since his the first boyfriend I've ever introduced and brought home to meet my whole family !

I really do love David so so so god damn much. He brings a side of me that I really have never seen before. He makes me laugh, he makes me cry, he really does rock my world. I can't wait for the next month and the next and when months turn into years and years turn into centuries and so on :) hehe

I think his the sweetest thing alive. He always makes me happy and he never lets anything get in between us. Making me happy is his number one priority.

Anyways, I know your reading hun and I just wanna say once again, Happy 5 months ! I love you so much babe, it's really so hard to explain through words how extraordinary this feeling you give me is. I've never felt this way with anybody else before and I know i never will, because it'll always be from you and vice versa with you :) I promise to keep trying and working at us to make it better everyday of my life ♥ I can't wait for what 6 months has installed for us, I love you :)

111109, inseparable ♥♥♥

You'll be my only, no need to worry, you wont be lonely, even if the sky is falling down

2010-04-08T07:57:00.009+10:00

The past 5 days have simply been great for David and I, since our last argument last week. I really am proud of myself for pulling everything together and finally after 2 years of being broken hearted by that one guy and because of that resulting in being a stubborn bitch and not opening up to anyone, I'm so glad that I've finally found someone who has given me the motivation to change and the want to change in every single way. Not only for the benefit of him, but for the benefit of myself, my health and lifestyle (not being such a agro bitch and angry rage at this that this that all the time), but most importantly, for us two. I see a domino affect happening, through my change and as a result, I see a much more brighter better and bigger future ahead. The changed me is minus the nagging, minus the clingyness, minus the bitchyness, minus the insecurities, minus the expectations, double the patience, whereby TEN GAZILLION TIMES THE HAPPINESS :D I seem so much happier and cheerful and he does too and knowing that his happy, makes me happy.

I know there are people out there who know much about my past or think that they know this or that about me. I know that i'm not the perfect girlfriend, never said i was, and from the way i was at the beginning when i first dated my boyfriend i know i didn't treat him the way he should have been treated and yes sometimes it's hard to believe that he really is mine and how great he is of a boyfriend to me, that most times i still don't think i deserve him because he can do so much better. And believe me, I tell him he deserves better all the time !

So all i have to say is, you can keep calling me names, tagging my board, keep hating, but it really honestly doesn't bother me at all :) Because everyone is entitled to their own opinions right? I'm mature enough to accept that.

And since I also am entitled to my own opinions, keep obsessing over me you biatttchessss :) WOAH JOKESSSS, wouldn't want you to go keyboard warrior on my tagboard again would i ? LULZ

don't know if i could ever be, without you, cause boy you complete mee :)

2010-04-07T12:49:00.006+10:00

Soooooo whats the goo :) Well I'm on a 2 weeks holiday atm and it's been preety boring D; I have so many assignments and i just don't know where to start :'( And because of that i've been going out, working and just then, i finished cleaning my room hehehe :D Im heaps happy with the way it is, feels so much cleaner and bigger and better ! My makeup table is heaps small too and usually when i go out and use makeup i just chuck it everywhere on the table and it gets heaps messy and just really over crowded and its the biggest pain to pack up the next day. So anyway, i've had this gaint makeup artist makeup box thingo for a while now that my bf got me and i havn't gotten around to use it since cause I just never really had the time to put my makeup in it. Anyway, i did today :D and my makeup table feels so much more cleaner and better and im loving it :)

And even though i know nobody reads this, besides a few people (LOL)i write these just for the purpose of myself reading back and looking back on old posts and remincising on this that and what happened during this time blah blah haha and who knows, maybe ill still have this in 10years time and my children can read it lol

Well heres a few picccyssss of my lovely room :)

LOL i know i don't have much makeup, but i think i have enough to last me a whilee hehe

LOL beforeee and after photo omgawd D;

stuck in love with each other

2010-04-01T18:31:00.005+11:00

There's no really other way to say this but, I'm loving David more and more each and everyday. Seeing him each day, 6 days a week, just brings the brightest smile upon my face and starts each day anew and the days when i don't see him, time just seems to fly so god damn slow and even though thats one day a week that i don't get to see him, it still feels like forever and still makes me wanna see him, even though I've seen him so much already.

No doubt, I've never felt this kind of love before. To be honest, before i met David, I had really only been in love once and that was over a year ago to my first love. After getting my heart broken, i never really looked forward to relationships, i never was really serious to any of the guys i dated, and even though they were no doubt extraordinary guys, i always seemed to looked beyond everything they would offer me, mainly because i was still so stuck in love with him.

But all this changed when i met David. David is by far the most loving, caring boyfriend any girl could ever ask for and sometimes i just can't help but to wonder why he even chooses to stick around putting up with me. I can't thank him enough for how much love he has to offer, because each time we fuss and fight, we get stronger and stronger and that's all because of him and his strength to keep himself together in order for me to keep myself together, even though I'm constantly bashing walls and throwing phones. I really don't know where or who or what i'd be without him.

He always goes to high extents in order to fix us and make me happy. Just like the time we had a fight and he stole his sisters car to get to me and today how we had a fight the other day and even though i was in the wrong, he went and bought me this Tony Bianco bag that i wanted hehe just to make me happy :$ No matter what or how bad i treat him, he always still believes that i deserve to get all the bags, shoes, clothes and things i want because by the end of the day, all he wants is too see me happy.

Even though he can be really dry at times, especially when he laughs at his own lame stupid jokes that nobody seems to find funny but himself, when he constantly farts in my face and gets my attention just so he can laugh at my reaction, when he pretends to kiss me or tell me a secret, and when i move forward too apparently hear the secret or receive the kiss he really burps in my face or ears and full laughs out looud crazy haha whatta loser, when he comes up with really stupid scenarios that usually are dirty and incests based on me and my little brothers and last but not least when he goes on my laptop when I'm busy doing something and reads my chat logs and acts all innocent when i come back ( ITS CALLED LAST RECENT ITEMS LOSER HAHAHAHA)

Anyway above all, i love him cause he trusts me to driveee from bankstown back home even though im not on my L's harharhar :)LOVE YOU GOOGLEY BEAR, I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU TOMMROWWSSSSS WHEN WE GOOO TO THE BEACHSKIEZZZ (L)

cause' shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo loverrrrrr

2010-03-29T21:13:00.005+11:00

david says (9:11 PM):
*cant wait til we have kids hun
*i wana play with them all day
*teach them new things
Nicole (hw) says (9:11 PM):
*ahahhaa
*awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
*how cutee
*thats so cutee
Nicole (hw) says (9:12 PM):
*how much do you love me babe ?
david says (9:13 PM):
*enough to see my whole future in your eyes

Awwwwwww well isnt my boyfriend the most beautiful bundle of love and joyyy, im so lucky to have himmmm, tear :') Well it's nearly our 5 months in like 2 weeks hehe :$ I still can't belive its gonna be 5 months, i mean its felt like forever but then at the same time it's felt like time as flown by so fast. I'm so glad that for the first time I'm actually so confident in loving someone, which by, without any hesitate gives me all rights and strength not to be afraid too look into the future and plan my life ahead with him and without having any little doubt whatsoever in my mind his just another guy that was meant to walk into my life, teach me a lesson, then leave.

I've been in love many many times, and yes love is a big word, but i'd like to say that david is my one and only first true love. There's a difference between loving someone, not knowing where and how things are gonna turn out and truely loving someone knowing your pretty much stuck with them no matter how much you fuss and fight and knowing this is the person your gonna spend the rest of your life with.

David really is one in a million and every little thing about him makes me fall in love over and over againnnn ! <3 Even though he can be so god damn embrassing at times, i still love himm ! He hasn't only changed my perspectives on love, but my perspective on life overall and even myself relection.

I'm a more mature and better person when im with him and one example of this would be how he changed my views on drinking and partying. Because of him, i've matured out of the binge drinking and have learnt to drink responsibily and just made me see how silly and attention seeking girls look when their all drunk, like wth :L get a hold of yourself ! your a girl, your suppose to look preety and elegant, not stumbling around vommitting everywhere ! Another ting would be how he always makes me feel beautiful even at the lowest times when i feel like total shit. I know im not some top notch hot super model and ofc its is normal for most girls to be very self concious of their looks but david takes all that away and makes me feel like the most beauitfull girl aliveee. He embraces everything about me, my long legs, skinny body, long hair, preety hands and nails and my dopey eyes (hahahaha), my rainbow eyes when i smileee ^__^ and in addition tells me straight out how he knows i look preety with makeup and fake lashes on, but he thinks me without makeup and fake lashes im more beautiful; because the lashes usually cover my eyes and just overall he loves my natural face :$ which has made me feel more comfortable with myself and has helped me not to reply on makeup so much.

Furthermore, i used to get so worked up by hater comments calling me sluttt or whatever, but now i just dont care anymore. Cause thats my past and ive changed. Im happy with david now and i know im a good person. So too whoever posted that on my tagboard calling me a slutt, middle finger up, haters keep on hating, cause you'll never bring me down :) and for all those reasons, i thank him for that :)

I love davidddd cause he makes me express my inner softcock-ness and makes me say cheesyyy things hehee :') and for anybody out there who has ever doubted us? suck dicks bitch, cause we're still growing strong ... see you at our wedding in 5 years time hawhawhaw :)

DAVID MAKES ME FEEEL ALL FUNNY AND SHIZZZ IN MEE TUMMY HEHE :$

2010-03-28T21:29:00.003+11:00

david david david :)

2010-03-27T22:43:00.004+11:00

Okay so things havn't been quiet good lately between david and i must admit i havn't been the best girlfriend imagined. Though, as a big turn around, making up for the past few days of constant argueing, today we decided to have a nice night out at east hills park sitting on a mat and fishing hehe :) It was a preety cute scene i guess, seeing as we only had one rod cause my other 2 stuffed up. Just him sitting behind me hugging me as we both held onto the fishing rod and talking about random stuff hee :$

It's weird how in a way, we're very similiar but at the same time we're some what really different.

I know straight up I'm not the perfect girlfriend and I'm really hard to handle. It's abit cliche with girls who describe themselves as "im imaptient, im jealous, im insecure" blah blah, not that i don't fall under those categories, but i think one thing that makes me so different from any other girl is my anger management issues. I'm a bitch and i know it, never once did i ever doubt that. I scream, i cry, i punch walls, i punch cars, i throw things at my walls, i throw phones and break them, i go key board warrior, i bash the poor guy up and i just preey much go nuts and demolish everything that gets in my way, LITERALLY. But because of those reasons i think in a way it's braught david and i closer to eachother because he has recognised those flaws and accepted them and learnt to deal with them for the past 8 months, as a bestfriend and as a boyfriend. But the again, it wasn't a problem that randomly aroused during the relationship we had, it was something that was there since day 1 and it was something he knew he had to accept and endure if he was going to be with me. And to be honest, i think his handled it preety well. I mean most guys would have left after getting given a million brusies from getting punched and bitten, billions of cut and scratch marks from my super sharp nails and then thousand beatings in the balls and just the overboard of physical abuse he gets from me.

David and i have been for quite a while now and his the first guy ive ever loved this much, honest truth :) Besides all the days we are fighting, the good days are just super over the moon. But one thing that got to me last night was when we had a arguement (and tbh i dont even remember about what) but like per usual i was a stubborn bitch and wanted him to chase after me and when he does i push him away. The point is, i said a few things i should have not said, which lead us to not talking and in that time i randomly decided to go to his blog. And thinking i was just gonna read old blogs he wrote for me ages ago, i found two recent ones, from the day before and the current day. He blogged about how we fight and how it makes him cry and sad and depressed. This totally woke me up, it was like somebody punched me in the balls 38028092801 times. And reading this made me sad, cause i was so unaware of his feelings and i always thought about myself in our situations.

Well i consultated with a good friend and he had a mad d&m with me about my actions and how i was wrong not only on this occassion, but many in the past aswell. He said that i take david for granted which if i keep continuing on with the things i do, one day he'll eventually give up and leave. This really opened my eyes and made me realise how true it is. Each time me and david fight i never see things from his point of view, cause everything is always about me me me and im always right, even when im clearly not.

Look hunny i know your reading and the whole point of this was to tell you how much i love you :) You have the most beautiful heart and I do know now that I can't afford to loose that <3 We're different from other people you know that hun ? We're different cause we can fuss and fight soooo much and i mean so god damn much, but we'll never be unseparable :) We can have so less trust in eachother with the opposite sex, but by the end of the day we'd both know deep down neither of us would ever cheat or do eachother wrong hehe i love you googley bear, i hope your smiling :$ <3

JAYY'S 18TH :)

2010-01-06T20:58:00.007+11:00

You know its funny how someone you once truely loved and you know cleary no doubt you've gotten over them, though once you see them smile or just a simple glimpse of them after so long, it suddenly makes you look back on the past, not on all the bad times, but all the good and it makes you realise how much you've actually missed them? It makes you realise how each time you talk about how much you hated them, it was really only a ease and mehtod of venting to help you forget about them? when deep down all the pain of ever loving them and loosing them was hurting you so bad?

Anyway that was just a random thought. Nothing specific or personal (Y) Obviously, i have a loving bf, so i shouldn't be worrying about any of that :)

Sooo i havn't really been writing on this, cause i just havnt been bothered too cause life's preety boring these days. Ever since david put his car up for sale and lost his second job, i havn't been out as much and everyday has just been the same thing, wakeup > msn > msn > msn > food > msn > phi > andrew > david > msn > phone > sleep lol boring hey? Anyways heres a few pics from jayy's 18th on monday :)

HAPPY EARLY 2 MONTHS HUN :)

2010-01-03T17:19:00.002+11:00

Baby I ain’t good at rhyming,
I hope you know im tryin’
But im gonna give it my best shot,
Cause baby you mean a lot.

Two months have gone by so fast,
Every minute of each day was a blast.
I’ll never regret loving you,
And all the things we’ve been through.

If god gave me a 100 reasons to walk away,
I’d have 101 reasons to stay,
Cause, im loving you more and more each and everyday.
And baby it’s so clear that we ain’t cliché,

Our loves limit is higher than the skies,
I shine your life with my smile and rainbow eyes.
Your making me fat. Oh what a crisis,
With your Kentucky fried chicken, eleven secret herbs and spices,
10 pack wicked wings.

Promise ill never stop loving you,
And that Ill be true and always be your baby boo.

Eleventh of November, 2009
Favourite number of mine.

David and Nicole?
Baby lets roll :)

LOLOLOLOOOLOLOLLOOLOL DEDICATED TO TRIBAL TRIO ♥ NICOLEPHIJUNKY ... and david in the background LOL

2009-12-22T22:47:00.002+11:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

HAPPY ONE MONTH BABY BOOO ! ♡

2009-12-11T10:53:00.002+11:00

OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW !

2009-12-08T14:21:00.010+11:00

So its a new year soon, why not make some new year resolutions! WOOO! haha! well like this is preety much the first time i've actually ever thought of new year resolutions cause ive only recently come down to understanding what it means (haha thank goodness for google search) but yes ! heres a list of my new years 2010 resolutions oh and since im here ill throw in a list of things i hope to do before the end of this year too!

2010 NEW YEARS RESOLUTION !
1. Eat healthier food like omgawddd
2. which contributes to maybe loosing 5 kilos :D
3. Start a nail polish collection! woo!
4. Paint my nails more often haha (omg i know what kind of resolution is this) but yeah, i painted my nails the other day, and they look nice :(
5. Stop habits like doing weird things and laughing at black people everytime i see them LMFAO oh yeah and insulting comments to people i.e andrews tomato face HAHA
6. Keep my room more clean !
7. Spending more time with my family at home, helping out and stuff
8. Start to drink atleast like 2L of water a day! like yeee!
9. Spending less time on the net ? mayve cut down 2-3 hours a day :)
10. AND START A VEGETABLE AND WORM GARDEN HAHA LIKE TOTES :D SEEMS FUN, CANT WAIT ! FULL GROW TOMATOS AND POTATOES AND SHIT HAHA <3

THINGS I WANNA DO BEFORE 2009 ENDS ! :D
1. Revenge on a particular ex :D BUAHAHA
~~2. Have the courage to talk and makeup and become friends with seilla again :)~~
~~3. Somehow convince my bf to let me drive his car again and do a burnout and make him see his whole life flash before his eyes again LMFAOOO~~
~~4. Write a poem ? LMFAO GAY . BUT YES, WRITE A POEM ABT SOMETHING ! :D~~
~~5. Kiss bf on December 31st, at exactly 11:59 PM! hehe~~
~~6. Get in contact with my MIA, ex bestfriend of 3-4 years anthony?~~
~~7. Late night beach trip :D~~
~~8. Hrmm re-visit sizzler again? cept this time i'll enjoy it by not going crazy on the salad bar before my food even comes out LOL~~
9. Watch a sunriseee !
10. ORDER A POUNDER AT MC DONALDS AND A X-LARGE FROZEN RASPERRY LIKE OMGWAD ! SICKENING MUCH !

INTRESTING FACT OF THE DAY :) IF YOU WERE WONDERING WHAT A POUNDER IS. A POUNDER IS A BURGER WITH 4 PIECES OF MEAT IN IT AND TO CONTINUE ON, A QUATER POUNDER IS A BURGER WITH 1 PIECE OF MEAT IN IT. THEREFORE, ITS 1/4 OF A POUNDER AND THEREFORE, A DOUBLE QUATER POUNDER IS 2/4 OF A POUNDER, THEREFORE IT HAS ONE TWO PIECES OF MEAT LOLOL AND YEAH SO ON WITH THE PROCESS ! CONFUSING, YES BUT YEAH HAHA ! :D Just thought you would like to know haha :L

DUMAAA SO FUCKING HOT LIKE OMGAWWD ! AND TMRWS 32 DEGREES, EVEN MORE OMGAWDD ! FML BADLY ! :'(

2009-12-07T20:40:00.005+11:00

never again will i kiss you, never again will i want you, never again will i love you, never .

2009-12-04T19:46:00.001+11:00

GOODBYE 2009 .

2009-12-02T11:46:00.004+11:00

So it's about a month til new years and yes it's kinda abit early to be even blogging about this, but i know i wont have time later on, soo ill do it now ! :D

I had a talk with vivy a few nights ago, just talking about all the memories and funny stuff that had happened this past year and not to mention our trashy drunk moments on NYE 09 and fongs 17th haha! This talk actually strived me to look back in this past year and it made me realise how time had flown by soooo fast and just how all the memories are just so long ago, yet felt like they happened just yesterday! Im starting to reminisce at all the bad things that had happened this year and just learn to look back and smile and forgive ! I realised for all the losses and down turns this year, there have been great upturn events that makeup for the down turns :) I mean, why hold onto a grudge or hate someone when everything had lead to now, just me being the happiest girl alive ! LOL

Anyway, im really excited for this years new years, cause i really have no clue what im planning to do? But im most likely gonna be spending a nice CLEAN NON TRASHY DRUNKEN night in the city watching fire works with my boyfriend :) YAYY CANT WAIT ! oh, not to mention ill be going queensland with my family and cousins family on the 25th til the 30th ... YES GOD, THE 30TH ! means im gonna withstand a 13 hour car trip, arrive home, sleep til the arvo then go out at night! omgggg likee FML!

THANKYOU 09' FOR THE ALL LAUGHS, SMILES AND TEARS! A YEAR NOT TO BE EVER FORGOTTEN ! :)

somewhere between all our laughs, long talks, stupid little fights and all our jokes, i fell in love - 11/11 ♥

2009-11-29T12:56:00.007+11:00

Landon: I might kiss you.
Jamie: I might be bad at it.
Landon: That's not possible.

thuong hunnie nhieu lam :)

2009-11-27T19:59:00.020+11:00

Only being about 2 weeks from our one month (it really hasn't felt like a month) ive started to find myself feeling asif "im stuck with him forever" kinda thing, and its honestly something ive never really felt before with anyone else. Last night was the first time in literally over a year that i told david that i loved him the most out of all my ex's; and for those closests to me, you guys would know who that one person was that i had been dreading over for the past year (*does timeout sign* haha phi! inside joke ;D)

Although i know we got a long way ahead, in the past 2 weeks, i've preety much been putting in the little extra effort to have a daily dose of him, even though it means withstanding the depressing weather (oh god, i can srsly feel my makeup melt), doing a 15 minute walk to the station (but ends up turning into a 20 minute cause of the weather) and a 4 stop ride to cabbra to see him for about a hour and a bit in his lunch break. Seeing eachother is VERY STRICTLY limited right now, but then again, its better than nothing and yes its worth it :) On the other hand, he also gave me his spare webcam, so during work i can webcam to him and after work hours we can webcam together. Oh, the wonders of cyber space! Not to mention, oh the wonders of facebook! haha yes we met through facebook ! <3

Yes my blog is public and it can be quiet upfront with all the kissing photos and stuff, but i like blabbing on about my wonderful boyfriend because his so wonderful and it's my blog and i can blabbbb on about whatever i want, so dun be hater :)

OMGGG I STILL CAN'T GET OVER THIS PHOTOOO OF HIM WHEN HE WAS IN YEAR 3 ! IT'S SOO FUCKING CUTTTEEEE !!!!!!

why wont you be my blue skies, so i can be your sunshine :)

2009-11-25T17:54:00.007+11:00

ITS 3:22AM AND I CANT FUCKING SLEEP :@

2009-11-25T03:22:00.001+11:00

"love means exposing yourself to the pain of being hurt, deeply hurt by someone you trust”
2009-11-25T02:03:00.006+11:00

"i wrote you 365 letters. i wrote you everyday for a year" - noah, the notebook

2009-11-23T19:02:00.006+11:00

My Dearest Allie,

I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever.

I love you. I'll be seeing you, Noah

"you have to promise you won't fall in love with me" - jamie, a walk to remember ♥

2009-11-22T11:57:00.003+11:00

BEST FUCKING FRIENDS FOREVER SLUT (KEYBOARD WARRIOR 4 LYF)

2009-11-22T01:02:00.010+11:00

FUCKING SCUMMY LITTLE SPED FUCKED UP DISGHUSTING BITCH. I KNOW YOU WONT READ THIS, BUT ONE DAY I HOPE YOUR SCUMMY LITTLE FINGERS ON YOUR SCUMMY KEY BOARD AND YOUR SCUMMY MOUSE MAGICALLY LEADS YOU TOO THIS POST. YOU GOT SOME NERVE TALKING SHIT ABOUT YOUR OWN FRIENDS. THERES A LEVEL OF BITCHING, YOURS IS JUST FUCKED UP. THINKING US THREE WERE ALL BEST FRIENDS FROM DAY ONE AND NOW WATCHING AS THE YEARS GO BY, THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU'VE BECOME AND THE THINGS WE SLOWLY FIND OUT THAT YOU'VE SAID ABOUT US. I CANT WAIT TIL THE DAY YOU FALL AS I RISE TO GREAT SUCCESS WITH MY LIFE, EARNING THE BIG BUCKS, WHILE YOUR OUT, LYING YOUR WAY THROUGH LIFE. BUT HEY? THEN AGAIN, YOU'VE PRETTY MUCH FAILED YOUR LIFE ALREADY, HAHAHA LOSER DROP OUT. AND TO THINK WE WERE 'BESTFRIENDS' HA! I LOOK BACK AND I DO REALISE ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE'VE HAD, BUT THEN AGAIN BEHIND ALL THAT WHO KNEW YOU'D TURN OUT TO BE A FUCKING MONSTER. THE WORLD DONT NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU, CAUSE YOUR HONESTLY A WASTE OF SPACE, MONEY AND TIME. YOUR THE DEFINITION OF SHIT AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE SHIT, YOU GOT SHIT WRITTEN ALL OVER YOU, INCLUDING PLACES WHERE THE SUN DONT SHINE HAHA. REMEMBER, FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE ALWAYS LAST. YOUR READING ? FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF ME ? IM A BITCH RIGHT ? WELL I KNOW IAM. ATLEAST I ADMIT IM A BITCH, UNLIKE YOU I DONT HIDE AND UPGRADE MYSELF BEHIND ALL THE LIES TO MAKE MYSELF LOOK BETTER.

INCONCLUSION IAM TIRED, AND I SHALL NOW GO PHONE WITH MY BABY TO VENT MORE THERE :)
I LOVE YOU PHI AND SOMETIMES YOU TOO JUNKY <3

im so glad i found you, love being around you (8)

2009-11-21T12:07:00.008+11:00

Give me more love from the very start,
piece me back together when i fall apart,
tell me things you'd never even tell your closest friends.
Make me feel good when i hurt so bad,
best i ever had, im so glad i found you,
i love being around you.
You make it easy, its as easy as one two, one two,
theres only one thing, two do, three words, for you too know,
i love you :)

Its funny scrolling down my msn list, reading everyone being sooky kients about the weather on their pm's :L

yes corny, but who isnt when your in love ? :)

2009-11-19T22:05:00.006+11:00

10 REASONS WHY I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND DAVID DUC PHUOC NGUYEN :)

1/ He puts up with me singing loudly and constantly changing songs in the car
2/ Because theres no food at home, on early mornings before work, he drops by maccas breakfast at my door, so when i wake up i got food to eat - the usual, 2 sausage and egg mc muffins, hashbrown and orange juice :)
3/ When we leave the phone on at night while we're sleeping, he remembers the exact times i sleep talk and tells me the next morning :L
4/ The first day we met, he taught me how to drive manual <3
5/ Always finds the time to see me, even if it means for 5 minutes :) and always gives me reasons to want more :)
6/ His heaps tall and has heaps nice legs lololol oh not to mention the fact he THINKS his good looking lol :D and always says sorry for causing the weather cause his sooooooo god damn 'hot' :L
7/ The fact this week, his worked his ass off from 9 to 5 everyday and when i asked why, he answered so that he could look after me and spend money on him and i :)
8/ He laughs at his own jokes, even though there really fucking lame and stupid :L
9/ When i bite him or hurt him (like normal boyfriends, they would just withstand the pain and let the girlfriend do it) he actually fights back and punches me in the head and pulls my hair really hard, LITERALLY :L lmfaoooooo
10/ AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, WHILE HIS DRIVING, EVEN THOUGH HE HATES IT SO BAD AND IT TOTALLY EMBARRASSES HIM, HE LETS ME PUT DOWN THE WINDOWW AND STICK MY HEAD OUT AND PRETEND TO SHOOT PEOPLE AS THEY WALK PAST WHILE MAKING SHOOTING NOISES WITH MY MOUTH :D

20 THINGS THAT CROSSED MY MIND :)

2009-11-14T17:15:00.006+11:00

WELCOMEEEEEEEEE BACKKK SOCIALLL LIFEEEEE ! :D
HELLOOO WORLD, HELLO FACEBOOK, HELLOO MSN, HELLOOO FRIENDS !

1. Cant wait for me and hunnie's road trip on monday :)
2. Craving kfc wicked wings like badly right now
3. Misses phi and junkie :'(
4. Need for Speed Underover time ?
5. My back hurts
6. OMFG QUEENSLAND AT THE END OF THE YEAR WITH FAMILY :D
7. Really need to buy new sandal/flats
8. I need to find a job, ZOMGGGGG SHOWW ME THE MONEYYYYYYYYY
9. Thinks the domokun phase is kicking in again lmfao henry ;D
10. Procastinating to pack up and go home :L
11. Classical music is shit and is for shit people (yes, you phi)
12. BEACH BEACH BEACH, BUT DONT WANT A TAN ? ='( IMPOSSIBLE .
13. Andrew has a really big head lolololol ... no, literally
14. Needs a good song to listen to
15. FUCK NOT GOING TO UTOPIA, I HATE YOU ALL :"(
16. LMFAO AT HUNNIE'S GRENLIM DOG THAT KEEPS FOLLOWING ME :)
17. Boyfriend cant play tekken 6 for shit cause im so pro, ho ho ho (H)
18. MUST GET MY L'S LIKE SOON SOON, lul lagg much?
19. I MISS HIGHSCHOOOL OMGG :(
20. Cause your everywhere to me and when i close my eyes it's you i see (8)

waaddupppp g

2009-11-07T17:06:00.003+11:00

woahh this is like probaly the first time ive touched the internet in the past month! so whats been up lately? not much ayes. Ive preety much been being fat sleeping around at home everyday, waking up at 10 and playing need for speed, undercover on the ps3 for the past week LOL i still got one more exam to go though and til then, im officially hsc freee! CHYEAHHHHHH! since 2U maths i been friggen stressing out about my marks, like i honestly probaly got like 10% lol FML. What im aiming for is to get into the course bachelor of arts/master of teaching (primary) at UWS with a ATAR of 72.70 ! YES TEACHING LITTLE KIDDIES :D LOL (i love kids btw) but yea, ive already automatically gotten 10 bonus points, soo i kinda only need to atleast get 60 and im in the course ! BUT ARGHHH JUST THINKING OF THE POSSIBILITIES OF NOT MAKING IT IN ......... ZZZZZ

on the bright side, i got a new phone and im god damn hungry and seriously cant wait til my boyfriend takes me too eat at hogs breath cafe, yum yum! it really only occured to us when we were on the fone last night watching resident evil when the add came on during commercial break, OMGGGGGG GOT US ... WELL MORE OF ME, DROOLING HARD! :( LOL

anyways, I MISS MY BEST FRIEND PHI ! :( IF YOUR READING PHI YOU DIP SHIT, I LOVE YOU VEDY MUCH AND I MISS YOU AND YES WE SHALL GO GHOST HUNTING AT PICTON TUNNEL? LOLOLOL

shawty's like a melody in my head, that i can't keep out (8)

2009-10-16T18:49:00.004+11:00

MY PHONE BROKE AND SO I DECIDED TO TAKE IT AS IT IS AND ALSO DELETE MY FB :D
yeahhhh, HSC IN 5 DAYS NIGGAZZZZ ! LETS DO THIS, wish me luck :)

LOLOLOL AND THATS SUPPOSE TO BE A PICTURE OF A HOT BUSINESS WOMAN :) FUTURE ME HAWHAWHAW

love handles

2009-10-07T14:33:00.008+11:00

Shit all studying's been happening lately, how depressing and my hsc is in less than 2 weeks, G-R-E-A-T-! Went library yesterday, wasn't very productive nor is studying at home today either, FUCK MY LIFE what am i gonna do ... after a day wasted at library, i told myself i'd go home and study to make up - I ended up going home and sleeping til 7ish then woke up and watched transformers til 11ish and went to bed ... how hectos is my studying progress going! note the sarcasm, sigh :/

meet me halfway

2009-09-22T15:05:00.011+10:00

CONGRADUALTIONSSS TOO CHRISTINA FOR GETTING SCHOOL CAPTAIN FOR CHESO 2010! YET ANOTHER YEAR, FOLLOWING JUDY WITH A HOT CHESO SCHOOL CAPTIAN!!!!!!!! ;D WHAT DID WE SAY? WHAT DID WE SAY! SO KNEW YOU WERE GONNA GET IT BABE!

I moved in last night!! Everythings alright i guess, havn't really opened a book yet, but i shall start nerding at 4! :) Feeling preety god damn lonley though. I preety much wake up and get home from school to a empty house LOL. Last nights sleep was so uncomfortable! Kept waking up throughtout the night. Its obviously cause' im not used to living here yet, but hey time time time :) I must note, im really missing my bed and just my room overall! I'm now gonna be sleeping in a queen bed, rather than the usual single and you know what? a 30 second walk to school has now turned to a 20 minute walk! WOO EXERCISE ;D I also dearly miss just walking to the kitchen and being able to open a cupboard full of junk food and snacks following my hunger from after school. But here, my sister literally has nothing, so im preety much starving right now haha

Random conversation with christina at school today! She braught up how her and i have been hanging out heaps since the start of this year! AND ITS TRUE LOL! I didn't actually realise til she mentioned it! I KNOW YOUR READING BABE: omg, 3 days left babe! Lasalle's formal is gonna be hectos, hopefully lol ;D and under whatever circumstance, we so gotta bust our moves...like always LOL <3 but yes, i havnt found a dress yet btw harharhar. I'll manage too pull something off :D AND YOU KNOW WHAT? now that your school captain, your gonna be at my formal too the following thursday ;D WOOOOOO! ... hrmm and tash's? not sure lolol, its close to my hsc period :'(

The chances are that you have already come to believe that happiness is unattainable. But men have attained it. And they have attained it by realising that happiness does not spring from the procuring of physical or mental pleasure, but from the development of reason and the adjustment of conduct to principles.

bitter sweet love .

2009-09-20T15:43:00.001+10:00

Just came back home from a few hours of shopping with my big sister! gosh, havn't shopped or spent time with her like this in ages! missing her heaps now. Still remembering those times when she still lived at home before she got married...it's been over a year now, just missing all them good and bad times with her! All them fights we have over typical big sister, little sister stuff, like me always borrowing her clothes and makeup and never returning it haha! She can be the biggest bitch at times, but in the end i love her heaps! I'm really glad to heave her as a sister. She's 11 years older than me, but she's been through everything im going through right now, so she's really understanding and i can practically talk to her about anything! But hey, im moving out tonight to live with her and nuk for about a month til the 11th November! (my last exam for the hsc) i get to see her face everyday now haha just like them good old times sis! ♥

Anwyay, i went formal dress shopping today...and i honestly cant find anything, and its really making me depressed. WHAT IF I DONT FIND A DRESSS OMGGG SIGHH :'( WHAT IF LIKE I FULL END UP HAVING TO WEAR SOME UGLY HORRIBLE DRESS :( OMGGG

well im off to shower and then off to chad's to meet up with the boys and vivian, thenn vroom vroom to mountiesss for phi's 18th dinner ! xx

burn baby burn

2009-09-19T12:56:00.016+10:00

before i start anything ... what's with the weather :'( I HATE IT.

OMFGGGGG EVERYTHINGS FINALLY KICKING IN! I GRADUATE IN 10 MOTHER FUCKING SCHOOL DAYS! CHEERING BROTHAAA!!!!! :D

Anyway, today was the first time i actually woke up early on a saturday morning lol! I woke up at around 10, and now its 12:58...holy i spent like 3 hours finding and reconstructing my blog layout lmfao. Oh yeah, btw if you havn't realised i changed my layout lmfao (H) the other one was getting to boring lol omgg, so much to blog about just not sure where to start! well yesterday i realised that ive gone to either kfc or maccas everyday of this week in my free periods LOL, the wonders of having friends with cars in the same free's! and i literally went to maccas 3 times yesterday LMFAO! in the morning for breakfast jigged first period, then later in my free period, then later on at night at like 11:30 with jayy LMFAOO :D yet again, un-healthy much? haha i need to control my hunger and eating habits. WAIT NO! AFTER PHI'S 18TH DINNER ON SUNDAY AT MOUNTIES ALL YOU CAN EAT HARHARHAR im gonna eat my life!! but then again, i dont ever get fat, i have no idea why (mum says cause' i got big bones lol) but yeah, i feel so lucky :D

well since i havn't posted anything properly besides the last one, since judy's 18th here's a overview of the past month :)

MUSIC DRAMA NIGHT - 27.08.09
It was a preety fun night, spending time with the school group :) loved the acts and singing and music, never realised how talented people in my year were ! haha and not to mention me and phi's shock when that guy we always laugh at school sang ! WOOO he blew us away lmfao

MICHAEL'S 18TH - 29.08.09
omgg a night never to be forgotten! after that i got a bruise and a cut on my thy from falling over the brick wall :'(

NICOLEPHIJUNKY DAY OUT - 01.09.09
this day was hilarious! walked around cabbra, i got locked in some scary place (fucking andrew) and park and played tips and shit. Not to mention the wheel chair chain family (ROFLOLMAO AHAHHAAHHAAHH OMG IM OUT OF BREATH FROM LAUGHING) and my supposedly killer stalkish hardcore lipstick chick :'( haha love you phi and andrew (L)

VIVY'S 18TH & GOMEZ'S 19TH SURPRISE @ SCHOOL - 04.09.09
haha just another typical tradition of the group :) i realised it aint really a surprise cause we always do it for everyone in the group LOL but yeah, how preety were the cakes!!! they were really yummy for my tummy too ! =D

VIVY'S 18TH BIRTHDAY @ WAGAYA - 05.09.09
this night was preety eventful. good fun hanging out with friends and eating japp food! mmm extra credits to the fried cheese! IT WAS THE FUCKING BEST !

FATHERS DAY/ FRANCIS'S 14TH LATE DINNER & VICTORS 18TH - 12.09.09
Went dinner with family at bankstown RSL all you can eat! holy moly, i didnt eat much though. After that, headed over to victors :) once again, a good nightt hanging out with the chesooo crew! Told myself i wasn't gonna drink .. lmfao well i failed :L and yes, another party with my lovely christina (L)

PHI'S SURPRISE 18TH @ SCHOOL - 17.09.09
haha fun day, even though it was fucking hot as! but yes, my best friends 18th ! woo love you baby, cant wait for sunday ;D

if your a bird, im a bird

2009-09-15T00:12:00.007+10:00

Sooo ive recently been having this obbsession with the movie "the notebook" since i first watched it a few days ago and it seems asif the whole world is against my liking of it :'( well actually, maybe just phi and andrew LOL full baggs me out for liking it. ITS NOT A SHIT MOVIE ALRIGHT, YOUR SHIT :'( you cold hearted non emotional shit heads's HAHA i seriously get so offended and cut up when they tease me :L AND WTF, ANDREW YOU HAVNT EVEN WATCHED THE GOD DAMN MOVIE :( but hey, the movie is simply beautiful and i reccommend all to watch it if you havnt yet!

Anyways, i realised i havn't blogged in ages. but my passion for the notebook has erged me to blog, so everyone knows of my obsession...so here iam blogging thanks to the notebook hawhawhaw ;D okay that was so lame lol

Well whats been happening lately since my last post? not much. IM TOTALLY LOVIN' THE SINGLE LIFE ;D feeling so care free and less stress!! Just been out every weekend since LOL .. which is a bad thing. But this week, for phi's 18th dinner shall be the last time going out til after hsc! I noticed that the past 5 weeks, every sat i been out for a friends 18th ... IS IT JUST ME OR IS EVERYONE AROUND ME TURNING 18 :( whysoyoung LOL. i turn 18 next god damn year may sigh lol . Well, I havn't really got down to serious SERIOUS 4 hours a day studying, but i promised myself i shall today! The next 3 weeks are gonna be so hecto!!! FINISHING SCHOOL SOON YEEEEEAA BOYYYYYY! 20 days and counting. But then again, i gotta stay focused and not get carried away lol.

So heres a list of things i gotta get done by this week:
- find a dress for Lasalle's formal
- yet then again, find a dress for my own formal LOL
- phi's 18th birthday present
- hand in reference and student year book profile notes (lol im like a month late)
- and maths homework =__=

anyways, im hitting the sheets. TOODLES :)
and im only writing this cause henry made me write it, but im talking to henry again LOLOL HAPPY FAT ASS! I WROTE IT :L

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUDYY

2009-08-23T15:28:00.007+10:00

I havn't really posted anything in a while cause i havn't been in the mood. I really dont feel like anything now either... sooo the picture's can speak for themselves - Judys 18th birthday partyyy woooo - 22.08.09 what a great way to celebrate the end of trials, yet the start of hsc :'(

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABEE ! LOVE YOU LOTSS xx
and omggg, school tommrowwww =O

2009-08-19T02:06:00.007+10:00

OMFG I DROVE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER YESTERDAY NIGHTTT AND I GOT THE HANG OF DRIVING MANUAL SORTA TOO! LOL (sadly enough i don't even have my L's) but woooo lol. If your reading david vtec .. thankyouu for teaching me how to drive manual and choking me at the park and attempting to wrestle and tickle me and threatenning to kick me in the face and all that abusive shit you have in planned to do to me lol, much love my dear friend (L) though besides all the times you hurt me physically (YES IT DID HURT, AND I WASNT FAKING THE PAIN ASSHOLE LOL) had a good night with you :)

harharhar, yesterday was such a lovely day to end my trial exams with 2U maths :) I didn't sleep til 4am :( I missed out on probaly heaps of questions, but i attempted all the ones i could do ... but yeah, lets hope i do good :'( *fingers crossed*

The weathers been so beautiful lately ...too bad my emotions dont relect on it :( Feels asif a way of keeping things off my mind is going out and just doing other shit and not thinking about the situation; but then it hurts even more knowing im trying to erase something that was once good in my life, that i really dont want to forget, but in the end for my own good i know i have too, sigh... Still preety much hurts alot when i think about it, even though i act like it doesn't hurt me. I even broke down for like 10 minutes of my maths exam and started crying - soft cock much? oh well ... time will only heal my pain :) Just gotta keep my head up high and stay strong i guess ...

Well what are my plans for today? not sure actually. Most likely, sleep sleep sleep :D !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND BEFORE I FORGET, I WOULD JUST LIKE TO POINT OUT ... I CANT WAIT FOR JUDY'S 18th THIS SATT WOOOOOO ! (H) and also, i dyed my hair AGAIN today (omg so much of my hair fell out, gonna go bald soon) and it turned out a chocolate brown colour, yay :) i think it looks alright.

Anyways, sleepppp time byee xox

FREEEDOM !

2009-08-17T00:50:00.004+10:00

I got a exam in 8 hours wooooo wooo i can't wait...not! zzz i seriously need god damn fucking coffee arghhh im like literally going crazy coz my mum hid all the coffee from me! :@ NOOOOO and i really just need it to chuck this all nighter one last time for my last exams :( *fingers crossed* it'll magically appear somewhere LOL

anyways, somebody by the name "cjrostoma" tagged my tag box mentioning what to wear this saturday.. im guessing it was someone by the name of christina with fat fingers lol... since j is next to the h, and o is next to the i and m is next to the n (haha love you babes) and yes, OMGG WHAT TO WEARRRR !!!!! hrmm, i'll probaly end up pulling something out of my ass like always :)and i can't waittt :D it's gonna be a awesome night, im very very pumped :) get to share another night with my lovely ladies drinking and grinding the night away lol

anyways, following my medical illness with the coffee, and since mum hid all of it, i decided to drink milk tea as a substitute (sigh). so heres the scenario, im sitting there in my room sipping a nice cup of milk tea and then mum comes in and backhands me in the head ... WHY I MUST ASK, because she thought i was drinking coffee when really it was milk tea LOLOL, FAIL MUCH! well, back to my epic adventure in search for coffee somewhere around the house and then study, ciaoooo friends :D

LOVE LOVE LOVE

2009-08-15T02:17:00.013+10:00

Yess, i updated my blog and added a tagboard since natasha was saying about how i have the same layout as her friends one and i need to update LOL. well yes, i turned to ms queen of blogging for help with html stuff and how to put up a youtube clip lol, much love natasha babes ♥

Anyways, don't you hate it when someone suggest something, and your up for it, and then suddenly when a change of plans happen they totally go against what they said and make it seem like it was your idea ...grr oh well, s'all good (Y)

WOOOW WOOOW, today was filled with so many mixed emotions !! the first hours of waking up was a complete shit hole, heartbreaking and tears as usual and i stayed home from exams again cause of something bad that i don't want to get into happened. The next few hours was just a complete blur, good news i guess but because it was such a relief, i totally literally just cried my heart out and was totally speechless - happy tears i'd say. And then the last few hours after that til now was just awesomee, i could have not felt better in 5 days :)

But yes, still the stress of my last two exams on monday! ENGLISH PART 2 AND 2U MATHS ARGHHHH! well my maths technically should have been on thursday, but due to my "medical illness" says the doctor, i havnt been school ... soo that means i get a 3 day advantage, which i really shouldn't abuse lol. OKAY WELL, I MUST STUDY HARDCORE TOMMROW :D soo that me and phi can have our little planned outting day on tuesday, celebrating the end of trials and then later on in the afternoon, a night out with dear friend david :)

I've been totally obsessed with this song for the past 5 days! the lyrics are so beautifull and makes me really sad when i think about tony :( well, listen listen listen!(once again, thankyou natasha for showing me how to put this clip on:D)

shooting star :)

2009-08-13T02:58:00.008+10:00

Yayy i just witnessed my first meteor shower like 2 hours ago lol :D It took me a while too kinda see the gold specks flying through the sky since it was like dark and i can't see jack at night :( but it was very very preety! I didn't stay outside for long though, coz i was a little bitch and got scared of ghosts so i ran back into the house haha then andrew told me he saw three shooting stars and made three wishes soooo i ended up sitting outside my backyard at like 1am staring up at the sky for another 10 minutes or soo ... i did see a shooting star and i did make a wish, fingers crossed that it comes true :)

Okay, i would like to bring up that i think i might have caffiene intoxication :( ive been really sick for the past 3 days and been experiencing all the symptoms which is definetly not good. I've only had 6 hours of sleep in 3 days, and ive consumed about 16 cups of coffee, AHHHHHH and just overall stress with the trials and some personal problems have really been getting to me, sigh. It's not very healthy, and i wouldn't say im the happiest girl alive right now ... well, i'm not going to my maths exam today coz gotta stay home and go doctors and even though i should be sleeeping to get some rest, but i cant the coffee's full keeping me awake :'( FMLLL

anyways, on the phone threewaying with gordon and thai, and gordons being a sooky kient and telling me off for not concentrating on what his saying saying lol, sooo ciaoooo :D

whats the time mr wolf

2009-08-11T03:35:00.005+10:00

WOO WOO WOOO its 3:35am and thinking i would be in bed like normal people i'm still up, sitting here like some lifeless hsc freak cramming fucking 4 topics of biology ... GREAT! (i guess i kinda deserve it for leaving it til the last minute lol ==") Well i had my first trials exam yesterday, and im preety much very happy with how i went :D ... wait well i dont know. Art's one of my strongest subjects, so im hoping (yn). But yeah, dont you just hate it when your so sure you aced a test, and when you get the results its like the complete opposite of what you expected, FAIL MUCH ? haha

But yeh, i got a biology exam in 4 hours and i know, crazy hey? but i most definitly would not fall alseep even if i tried ... since 7pm yesterday til now i've consumed a total of 8 cups of coffeee wooo and i havn't felt this alive ever :D

haha my mum just came in my room and gave me a apple to eat and a fish oil tablet ... i swear mums gonna like overdose me on it soon. Well, she then started talking to me and prasing how im such a good girl now with all the studying hehe and then started talking about me and boysss, which we havn't talked about in a while ... AND HOPING SHE WOULDN'T MENTION IT (WHICH I KNEW SHE WOULD ANYWAYS), she brings up her lover boy, my ex henry LOLOLOL , geez mum why dont you just go out with him :L

hey and she just came back and gave me dimsims that she steamed for me =D
anyways, im going to eat and then back to studyyy xO

RANT ON LOVE

2009-08-10T00:49:00.007+10:00

I THINK THAT LOVE SHOULD GO AND JUMP OFF A CLIFF AND DIE :@

THE END .

anywhoo on the other hand, to lighten up the mood heres a picture of me in a gorilla suit :D

PMS - Pissy Mood Syndrome

2009-08-02T13:17:00.005+10:00

So ever had one of those shit days where everything just kinda pisses you off ? Well Yeah, im preety much having one of those days today and my god, how fucking annoying can the people around you get when your in this situation? and what makes it even more worse, is that its preety shit for a person who already has major anger problems ... yeah thats me :L

Im seriously so angry right now, probaly angry enough to smash a car window - LUL i still remember the last time i felt asif i could smash a car window, it was when i was in a carpark arguing with my ex edward not long ago, probaly like 3 weeks ago ... though as much as i wish i did, it didn't happen, i kicked a car instead lmfao, im such a douche bag haha.

Theres so much crazy shit ive done that have been so un-lady like and that usually involve a ex. Hrmmm, the top two worse things that i've ever done is probaly throw a table across the room because a ex broke up with me (lul i got told off from mum hard for that) and two, i threw a photo frame at my wall when my mum pissed me off (and i got told off hard for this too) haha - and then i felt like the biggest loser coz i had to sweep the glass up afterwards xO

But yeah, cut to the chase, these anger problems are seriously creating major problems for me; its affecting my studies, friendship, family life and relationship with the boyfriend. I get pissed off at the silliest things. It's probaly because i used to be such a quiet kid before and used to always bottle myself up, that now i just got sick of being pushed around and letting the people around me do whatever shit they want that pisses me off .

My mum's considering anger management counselling for me when im older ...

IMMA FAIL

2009-08-01T19:07:00.004+10:00

Okay, so in reply to my last post, andrew just read it and told me that it's not the first day of spring, therefore now i just feel like the biggest studpidest dipshit loser in the world :( nearly 12 years of schooling, and i dont know that Spring begins in September lul

,# tell`em.junky says (7:02 PM):
*lets see wats on nicoles blog today
*rage-o-holic
*nicole
*its not the first day of spring
*september is spring
,# tell`em.junky says (7:03 PM):
*sep oct nov is spring
*dec jan and feb is summer
*mar apr may is autumn
*june july august
*is winter
*LOL

nicole nguyen MY HAND HURTS, seriously gotta lay off the walls :( - {STUDYING} says (7:03 PM):
*HUH
*WHAT
*SERIOUS
*NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

,# tell`em.junky says (7:05 PM):
*nah
*why u think its
*1st of sep
*is calld
*spring cleaning
*first day of spring
*and why is september the month of birth
*:L
*all da animals wake up from thier hibernation
*and get jiggy
*:L

pinch punch for the first day of the month

2009-08-01T12:13:00.012+10:00

Wooooo, its the first day of spring! :D and then in a few months it'll be summer, YAYYY! honestly, can't wait ... i'd so much prefer sitting around the house half naked sweating like a pig then wrapped in a cocoon of clothes lulz :L But then again the worse part about summer is i get tanned so god damn friggen easily. .. i usually come out looking like some bloody nigga =[ CURSE YOU MR SUN *waves fist*

Anyway, last night i made a mission trip to chatswood to see tony and then we went to city to eat. Got home at around 11:30 and the first thing i did, was jump on msn and tell phi i was home, lol and the first thing she did was send me a link to a youtube clip. Well i was capped, but i opened it anyways and left it there to load, and thinking it'd be like some makeup tutorial or something, turns out to be some god damn bird whistling to a song i dont even know (waste my time phi :@). Well yeah, i played it and suddenly dad comes in and full starts yelling at me for no reason about whistling and how girls shouldnt whistle and that if snakes and ghost come to our house then it's my fault and then he walks away and goes back to his room ... WDF ! LOL i just got told off for no reason lul.

Well at around, 3am i realised my net started to run faster ... I WAS UNCAPPED, YAY ! LOL soo what did i do? i opened up Hotel626 and played it haha - the game i was longing to play but was to capped to, but now i can lol. I played it to around 4am with joseph, wdf took me an hour to figure everything out, and all i had to do was press enter to eneter a door, sigh. well yeah, btw the code to enter the door is 483 ;D lol anyway, i should get out of bed now, but soo tiredd, didnt go sleep til 5am LOL well i'll get up and go and do my daily saturday chores, like cleaning the toilet and washing the dishes before mum tells me off, bye :(

OH AND WOULD LIKE TO THROW A BIG WARM HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHI ! HAPPY 18TH LOVELYYY (L)

PHI YEN THI PHAN ♥

2009-07-29T20:02:00.000+10:00

Thankyou for always being there for me babe. We've shared so many good memories in the past 3 years of friendship... memories i know i'll never forget (L) You know how theres that one person in your life, you know you'll never forget ? well yes, its you homo LOL Your always there for me through the ups and downs, wrong and rights. Your somone whom i can depend on to tell all my dirty and naughty secrets too without jumping to conclusions and judging me as a bad person lul. Yeah, and even though you can be hell annoying at times like constantly saying smoochie smoochie to piss me off (inside joke), always fixing me up whenever i say why come (for how come) and teasing me when i say chwelve instead of twelve, you'll always be my BFF4LYF !

We can have our bad days, when either of us are in the mood for eachothers dickhead-ness but then there will always be those good days which totally over ride the bad days - which is practically everyday at school LOL

Anyway, im gonna see you at school tommrow. so ill show you some more loving then ;D
and thankyou for buying me a susuage and egg mcmuffin today for breakfast ! <3 love you !

zzzz

2009-07-20T19:30:00.000+10:00

Oh jeebus, i just came home from what was supposedly suppose to be 4 hours of english tutor, too 3 hours lol. I couldn't hack it so i told dad to come and pick me up a hour earlier and i'd make up for the extra hour the following week. Tutors usually only 2 hours, but since i didn't go tutor last week and went fame instead i had to make it up for today.

I had a preety shit day ... slept at 5am and at around 11, tony called and woke me up ARHHH ! i was in such a pissy, bitchy grumpy mood lol. I feel preety guilty though, havn't done any personal work today besides at tutor. I should get to it, but im so tired !!! =[ I think i should start fixing my sleeping pattern likee ... NOW, or i'll be so screwed when we get back to school.

No more late nights on msn or phone with tony, or stuffing my brain up with studying !

AND OMG, I GOT LUCKY IN POKER TODAY harharhar, eating everyones chips nomnomnom :D well, off to shower. Toodles !

us at FAME ! 13.07.09

STUDY BREAK

2009-07-19T01:33:00.000+10:00

hrmm so its 2:09AM and i just home not long ago from a three way party that marilou made me go too LOL. We made a agreement that if i went to this party then she had to come to utopia with me and christina at he end of the year! (in which i can't wait forr) yayy more grinding ;D lol I had a good night, heaps of grinding with the girls, a preety shit dj who thought i was fucking indian, exposure to heaps of random people making out, met heaps of new people and OMG LITERALLY FREE ALCOHOL ! xO

Well im off to shower and then abit of study and then sleeep ! GOODNIGHT .

me, christina, yarah, jelena, marilou and vivian ! :D

GOODMORNING WORLD D:

2009-07-17T08:17:00.000+10:00

Okay so this is my first blog, since i made this whole site like a month ago and only came back to it now since im single now and have all the time in the world harharhar :D

Well i satyed up til 5 AM last night webcamming with phi and chatting to quoc while typing out god damn study notes, and now its 8:20 AM .. zomg 3 hours 20 minutes sleep ! CURSE YOU HSC !!!!! but hey im comming to terms to realise that its true how they say, theres no such thing as the word holiday when your in year 12 ... its so far 1 week into the 2 weeks holidays and last night was the first time where i actually put a effort into studying, sigh.

Right now i feel like the biggest panda bear; dark circles around my eyes and i feel so sleepy. I should go sleep, but then i know i'd probaly not wake up til like 4 in the arvo ... therefore wasting a whole day of planned out work like typing up study notes for ancient history =[ FML .

Maybe showering and a cup of coffee will help to wake me up abit ?

Heres what me and phi got up to last night :D BESTFRIENDS4LYF ! <3